jump for christmas!

salrwater crocodiles are generally very lethargic. however, they are capable of explosive bursts of speed when launching an attack out of water. occasionally, the crocs will jump for food.


sources: telegraph (pic) and wikipedia

poor eskimo!

Eskimo the eight-year-old reindeer had a dramatic run-up to christmas as (s)he underwent keyhole surgery to "correct" a hormonal imbalance which made h(er)im the runt of the litter and a bit of a loner with a "girly" walk. his antlers were stunted and knobbly, and poor Eskimo was both shunned by males and females.

after the keyhole surgery, Eskimo has picked up a few buddies and a girlfriend. his vet, in a statement, said: "I popped up to see him today and he was munching on some lichen with a female reindeer by his side."

The North Pole was unavailanle for comment on this story.

source: scotsman

when making a wishlist

do not wish for an indoors swimming pool if you can't keep it well insulated.



source: telegraph

Emo, Ireland

Emo is a small estate village in county Laois in the midlands of Ireland.

visitors to Emo are advised to "Dress appropriately", which we suppose msut mean make sure your clothes are patterned and your trousers are tight, and "take your litter home", which can be interpreted in any odd ways.

sources: laoistourism and Google (although Maps at the moment doesn't understand the concept of emo, ireland)

a real dog-up

remember the dog rogue, Sumo, that would just not leave M. Chirac intact after he stopped being president? while this young delinquent (or misunderstood soul – we must expect he had a pedigree) was retired to the country, Chirac and wife pined for another dog. and, for the ex-president's 77th birthday, they were given one – live on tv.

except the dog that was given wasn't actually the one they were given, if that makes any sense. it was an impostor! the television people had substituted another dog for the gift dog. all of France was shocked that something fake and unreal was presented as reality on tv.

source: staragora

dogadoodle-do!

Sumo, the Maltse bichon of France's EX-president Jacques Chirac and his wife Bernadette, did not take kindly to having to move out of the presidential palace. in fact, it seemed to become quite depressed, and driven to manic fits of biting. after it had drawn blood from the ex-president three times, the Chiracs decided some fresh country air would benefit, and them, and so retired it to their friends' farm.

according to the independent, "Bruno Legrand, a dog trainer who once worked with Sumo, suggested that Mr Chirac himself was to blame for the misconduct by being too lenient – allowing the dog into bed and to sit up at the dinner table."

source: the independent

the cow jumped over the... roof?

a cow in Blagdon, Somerset, was caught on camera after it jumped onto a roof six feet off the ground. the roof owners thought they had been burgled. however, despite a few broken tiles, they found nothing moosing.


source: telegraph

coonking for christmas?

don't forget that too many chefs spoil the broth!

picture cc-by HikingArtist.

pie!

contestants in the world championship of pie-eating in Wigan -- "one of Britain's main contributions to international competitive eating" -- were faced with a crusty dilemma when the traditional Wigan pies, which are small and soft, were substituted with larger, crisper Adlington pies.

these pies "tasted wonderful", but were slower to eat and not what the Wigan favourites had practised eating. should they boycott the wonderful pies, or risk defeat? Julie Walsh, the budding promise of female victory, "walked out when she realised the pies were not from Wigan."

in the end it was newcomer to the contest, Barry Rigby, who took the title of pie-eating champion, after a stunning performance which took only 45 seconds. he celebrated his win with three more pies, using the silver winner's cup as his dish.

despite the foreignness of the pie, however, Rigby is a pie-eater from Wigan.


sources: manchestereveningnews and
guardian

mickledom is no virtue.

the scottish word "mickledom" (meaning size, magnitude, or greatness), has occasionally been spelled "michel-dome" in english. an inspiration for michel delving?

source: OED

no octopie today!

scientists have filmed veined octopuses gathering coconut shells and using them to make shelters to stay safe from predators. this is the first known example of tool use amongst octopuses. there was no report about whether the octopuses arms were all thumbs, however.

source: bbc

the leaning house of Himley

Pisa may have its leaning tower, but Britain has a crooked pub! Glynne Arms in Himley, also known as Crooked House, has the possible advantage of seeming distinctly un-straight even before you swig.

Cum in an av sum hum brewd erl
Stop as lung as yom erbul
At a public called the Siden House
Weer the beer runs up the terbul.

sources: Photo from geograph.org.uk, cc-by Stephen McKay, poem from Crooked House.

dogs are win... or not.

it has been scientifically proven that dogs are better pets than cats. in a study by New Scientist, a committee of experts (oh dear) gave dogs a slightly higher score than cats, because dogs can be more useful.

and perhaps cats would agree? even cats find dogs useful -- while some dogs prefer them as cuddlies.

Shyla, the little kiwi dog (now wouldn't that make a cool pet?), has made it her business to look after cute, orphaned kitties, suckling them, cleaning them and keeping them warm. according to her owner, "she gets a bit bossy with dogs, whereas she loves cats."

sources: telegraph,the press (with video) and the poodle (and dog) blog, which comes with a bonus story of fakepuppery.

LOL is older than you think!

lolcats have existed for a long time -- popfi shares one sample from 1905, using that age's cutting edge technology to bring the power of LOLz and cats together.

(hmm... is this also a precursor for stuffonmycat ?)

true love waits

source: Hiking Artist on flickr. CC-by-sa.

blowing his own trumpet

a speed camera in Norway recently captured a man driving at 20 km/h over the limit, and playing the trumpet. police are appealing for friends or colleagues to blow the whistle on him.


source: Nettavisen and a reader.

the abominiable snowman

the world's tiniest snowman is made of tin.

it is 10 µm across -- that's about one fifth the width of a human hair.

source, film and crafting from national physical laboratory.

reduce, reuse, recycle

the earliest known recycling centre in York is from 1066, and was probably scandinavian.

vikings seem to have collected metal after the battle of Fulford to remake into weapons. however, they seem to have been interrupted when battle re-erupted at Stamford Bridge.


Source: The Press

hand

photo by Drab Mayo on flickr.

first!

our man Chaucer was the first to use a large amount of English words, for the simple reason that he was one of the first major writers to writie in the queen's tongue, rather than some Latin Mumbo-Jumbo or Olde Germanice Gobbledegooke.

examining his writings more cloesly reveals a lot of semi-unpleasant truths. some of his poetry, for instance, indicates that he was an early goth... make that late goth, as the Goths predated him. okay, let's say early emo.

14 For sorwful imaginacioun
15 Is alway hoolly in my minde.
16 And wel ye wite, agaynes kynde
17 Hit were to liven in this wyse;
18 For nature wolde nat suffyse
19 To noon erthely creature
20 Not longe tyme to endure
21 Withoute slepe, and been in sorwe;
22 And I ne may, ne night ne morwe,
23 Slepe; and thus melancolye
24 And dreed I have for to dye,
25 Defaute of slepe and hevinesse
26 Hath sleyn my spirit of quiknesse

as we can see, he got a lot of those "first usage" medals through simple cheating, as he used any old spelling he could think of. such as "morwe", which clearly was an inspiration for Tolkien's Morwen. we'll have to get back to whether cheating or copying is the worst sin.

Source, for the poetry at least: wikisource.

hello kitty...

in Taiwan, if you don't have a clever dog, you could always have your baby in a Hello Kitty hospital. children are swaddled in Hello Kitty sheets, surrounded by Hello Kitty decorations, and given Hello Kitty birth certificates.

the hospital also boasts a bi-annual visit from people dressed as cats.


source: weird asia news.

hello doggy

Hello the dog, from Pingdong in Taiwan, runs errands for her owner. earlies, she used to carry betelnuts from his stall to customers. nowadays, after a run-in with a motorcycle, she is confined to the safer job of going to the supermarket. she carries money and shopping list in a bag and waits in line at the checkout. if buying dog food, Hello will show a note specifying what flavour.

however, her goodness has limits. during the summer, Hello prefers to stay in the air-conditioned shop rather than hurrying home. so... no dog biscuits today!

sources:
ananova and CRIENGLISH.com

ivy beats holly!

the first christmas card was decorated with a border of ivy and vine leaves (and grapes), but no holly. and no mistletoe, either. ivy wins!



Source: worldcollectorsnet.com for facts, thefindbuzz.com for this fine image.

a plague of parrots

Britain's latest pest appears to be parrots. the monk parakeet and the ring-necked parakeet have become so naturakused -- erm, naturalised -- that they can now be shot without permission. other birds celebrated with this disctinction include crows, magpies and gulls.


lurking parrot looking mean in kensington gardens, london.

Source: Britain's naturalised parrot now officially a pest. The Independent, 30 September 2009.

hent the obbit

as we know, the word "hobbit" has been severely popularised lately. following current trends, it seems that the ents are next. why else would there be a twitter account for the BBCEntsTeam?

entish image from treecraft.

lord of the rings, alternate ending

just leave the job to norwegians!

hobbit hole in the clouds

tolkien, or fighting words?


this creations was made possible by wordle and kindly licensed as cc-by 3.0.

gaming for peace

... Pong. This was the first commercially available video game; it featured two bats, a square ball and lots of irritating noises, it came along in 1972 and since then the western world has, for the most part, been at peace. We can therefore conclude that Pong and other games of its ilk ended the cold war because, for the first time in history, leaders had something better to do than rush about threatening to bash one another’s heads in.

Jeremy Clarkson, The world will never be safe until Scrabble is banned in The Sunday Times

new tolkien book

it's called The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrún, bbut that's not the point. in the news blurb, i read

The previously unpublished work was written while Tolkien was professor of Anglo-Saxon

as "the work was written by Tolkien in Anglo-Saxon", which would reilly have bean something. woudln't it? or would you have preefered elvish?

irony is win

unlike americans, the british are required by courts to understand irony.

arrest

limerick definition -- limeition? -- by Kalleh.

Her heartbeat has stopped — an arrest!
Breathe for her! Pound on her chest!
Her eyes begin fluttering,
And she begins muttering,
"Stop it! You're fondling my breast!"

from oedilf, where they just keep coming!